The proposal

Kaia remained in the circle for what seemed like forever. She was still tired, but the circle was not big enough for her to lay down or even curl up in, and she felt somehow obligated to stay within it's limits. She focused on her breath to keep herself calm. Her mind began to wander back to the things that weighed upon her- the facts that she had tried so desperately to avoid. The choice that she had tried to push out of her mind was now shouting at her, refusing to be ignored. She recalled the events that had spurred her to come on this journey in the first place- the proposal. She winced when she recalled the image of him on one knee, the glittering ring swimming in her view, shaking slightly with the nervousness of the hands that held it. Her absolute panic and fear. The tears. Asking for him to wait for her to think about things, to get her life straightened out. "I love you," she had said. "Of course I love you. But it's too soon. I just don't know what I want yet." And worst of all- the pained look of disappointment in his face- a look of deep despair and utter defeat.

Growing up with her mystic mother, Kaia had been told as early as she could understand language that she was gifted with a connection to nature and to the spirit world that few others had; that she had a responsibility to pass on the traditions of her heritage and use her talents. When she was a child she had looked up to her mother completely, and Kaia felt lucky to be so "gifted." But as she grew older she started to see her mother the way other people saw her- warm and loving, but a little crazy, a little disconnected from the rest of the world. It was then that she had begun to wish she had a sibling or at least a father to offer another perspective. Her mother just seemed so.... out there. She became ashamed of her and would lie to her friends that her mother was a florist. That seemed so much more normal than a mystic who made her living doing "aura readings" and "healings" for both people and animals. Those who believed in her, well, they believed in her with all their hearts. "How lucky to be the daughter of someone so wise," they would tell her. She tried to wait until their backs were turned to roll her eyes.

But in her 20's, something started to change. She began to see things- to sense things that others didn't. It was nothing new, it was almost like she began listening to a voice that had been talking to her the whole time. It was exciting, and also very worrisome. She didn't want to be what her mother was- a joke. But she didn't want to turn her back on what her mother told her was her "gift" and her obligation.

And Frank, well, he knew nothing of all this. Like she did with most new acquaintances, she had told him her mother was a florist. The fact that her mother lived halfway across the country made this lie easy to maintain. But as things got more serious with him, it began to eat away at her. Was it true? Was she ignoring her heritage as her mother said? When he proposed, all her worries and fears and guilt rushed to her at once, paralyzing her. Frank was not a mystical person, or even spiritual. He worked at an engineering firm and logic was his guiding force. He was kind, attractive, practical, dependable. But if she married him, she would have to give up that spiritual part of herself that she had thus far been denying. Somehow she just didn't see the two parts of her life coming together in any sort of way that would work. In the end, it was one or the other.

sacred circle

Kaia awoke to Luna's cold nose on her neck.  She came wide awake with the unexpected touch.  It was still dark and the air was brisk.  Luna got across to Kaia that she wanted her to get up and leave the cave by a combination of nudges, yelps and pacing from her to the mouth of the cave and back.  Kaia grabbed a warm jacket and followed the wolf into the predawn.  The moon had set and the desert felt asleep.  No sounds, no light.  Kaia set out slowly, following Luna as best she could.  She wasn't sure if this was insane or truly a part of what she had come to the desert for.  After twenty minutes or so of walking,  they arrived at a flat spot where Kaia could just make out a circle of white stones enclosing a space about four feet across. 

"Now what?" she asked the wolf.  Luna nudged the backs of her legs to indicate she wanted Kaia to get inside the circle.  Luna circled outside the stone perimeter twice and then turned abruptly away from Kaia and trotted off.  Kaia felt certain she was supposed to stay within the circle, so she sat down and waited for the sun to rise.

Names

The wolf just stared at her, cocking her head slightly. She was again aware of the piercing quality of those sharp, yellow eyes. Bright and unwavering, like two stars in the night. The wolf's lush, gray fur was reminiscent of the moon- she was truly a creature of the darkness.

"How about Luna?" The wolf stared at her for a moment before giving her another slight bow of the head, nodding approval. The wolf made every movement count, clearly not one to waste any energy.

"Alright, I'll call you Luna then. I'm Kaia."

The fire crackled, and she suddenly became aware of how tired she was.

"Well, shall we rest?" It was then that she realized how little she had spoken over the past few days, and how lonely it felt to have no one around her who could talk back.

Luna's only response to the lingering question was to place her head on her paws and blink warily. Kaia took that as a yes and put out the fire.

Dinner

The wolf lowered itself and began to back away from the entrance to the cave, never taking its eyes from her.  After reaching the back of the cave, it lay down with its head on its paws and relaxed.  She found herself creeping in as the wolf backed away, until she could see that there was a ground squirrel dead beside the woodpile.  She looked at the wolf.
"Is this for me?"  The wolf made no response, just kept its unblinking eyes locked on her every move.
Hunger drove her to act and she cautiously took the squirrel and supplies needed for a fire to the mouth of the cave.  While she got the fire going, she took her knife and skinned and gutted the squirrel. She would pause and look over her shoulder occasionally, but the wolf never seemed to have moved.
Once the squirrel was roasted and her mouth was watering from the delicious smell of the meat, she turned to the wolf. 
"Please join me," she said, holding out a portion of the meat toward the wolf.  The wolf rose up and padded slowly to the mouth of the cave where she sat next to the fire.  The creature was fearless and neatly took the squirrel meat from her hand and crouched down beside her to eat.
After sating her hunger, she turned her attention to the wolf that sat quietly at her side. 
"I see that you are a she-wolf.  What shall I call you?"

wolf

She had found only a few berries that she knew not to be poisonous, but it seemed to take ages just to gather a couple of handfuls, and after consuming them she only felt hungrier.

She began glancing around warily, as though someone were following her a little too closely. But surely there was no one... right? Night was rapidly approaching and she didn't like the idea of navigating her way back in the dark, so she hastily decided to head to the cave despite her hunger.

She followed the landmarks she had observed on the way out- a particularly tall tree, a jagged rock, a decaying log. She was relieved to see the cave on the horizon, proving she hadn't entirely lost her way. When she arrived to the mouth of the cave, she felt suddenly alert- something was different. She couldn't place it exactly- a smell, perhaps, or a shift in the air. She squinted into the cave, trying to make out what could explain her unease. It was probably nothing. She took a step closer, and glanced down to place her footing on the uneven ground. When she looked up, she froze. Her heart pummelled in her chest as her brain registered that the two sharp, yellow eyes she stared into belonged to a wolf.

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RUN, she told herself, RUN! Yet her feet didn't move. And, curiously, neither did the wolf. It was staring at her intently, but it was neither growling nor approaching her. The wolf's eyes were almost... inquisitive. Could it be...? She swallowed; her mouth felt as dry as the desert air. Still frozen in place, her mind racing, she finally found her voice.

"Are... are you my guide?"

The wolf kept its eyes locked on her for an excruiciating moment longer before closing its eyes briefly and bowing its head into a single, nearly imperceptable nod.

twilight

She brought her wandering mind back to the situation at hand.  She was in no real danger of starvation.  In a crisis she could contact someone in the outside world, but she would not activate her beacon unless she truly thought the end was near.  Instead, she thought about the meaning of the bird, where it might be spending the end of the afternoon and whether it had come in greeting or more likely, as a warning for her not to fail in this, her journey.
As the sun lowered in the sky and the heat of the day was replaced by the cool of the evening, she began to hear the sounds of the desert dwellers stirring.  As the nocturnal creatures emerged from their secret places to bring the land back to life for the night, she thought she saw the same small bird perched on a shrub, using its beak to reach between the spines and pick free some small bits of plant.  She thought of how she, too, seemed perched precariously in this dangerous place, hoping to avoid painful thorns and take away something nourishing.

bird

She meditated briefly, but was disturbed by her own hunger. She decided to look for food before meeting her travelling companion that evening. As she began to gather her things, she noticed a tiny bird landing on a rock nearby. The bird looked at her, hopping momentarily, then becoming still and cocking his head at her.

"Do you know where I can find some food little bird?" She asked, startled slightly by the sound of her own voice. "Or are you as lost as I am?"

The bird cocked his head the other way, as if trying to find the angle where her words would make sense. His tiny eyes stared into hers for a moment longer before he hopped and flew away.